“Outdancing the Universe” Now Available

Our latest title Outdancing the Universe by Lauren Gilmore is now available. Read selections from the book and link to where you can buy it online by clicking here: Outdancing the Universe

If you’re in Portland, you can get your copies now directly from Powell’s City of Books on Burnside or Powell’s Books on Hawthorne.


Letter from Hell 2015

Hello Hellions!

We’ll keep this brief.

First, we are suspending unsolicited submission windows until January 2017 because we currently have FIFTEEN books in our production queue and we need to focus our attention on their completion.

Second, we know you were looking forward to our summer submissions window, so, in the meantime, we are offering our first-ever University of Hell Press sponsored anthology. Details HERE. You have to contribute.

Third, we hope you’ll celebrate with us the fact that we have fifteen new books coming because that number also matches the number of books in our entire catalog so far. We put out five books the year we launched in 2012, four in 2013, three in 2014, and already three so far this year. Color us gobsmacked.

Finally, we hope that if you’re in Portland that you’ll join us at LitHop PDX this year where we’re hosting a stage at Dante’s. Details HERE.

Dispatch over.

Yours in Hell,

University of Hell Press


“Often Go Awry” Now Available

Our latest title Often Go Awry by Brian S. Ellis is now available. Read selections from the book and link to where you can buy it online by clicking here: Often Go Awry

If you’re in Portland, you can get your copies now directly from Powell’s City of Books on Burnside or Powell’s Books on Hawthorne.


“Nothing to Do with Me” Now Available

Our latest title Nothing to Do with Me by Sarah Xerta is now available. Read selections from the book and link to where you can buy it online by clicking here: Nothing to Do with Me

If you’re in Portland, you can get your copies now directly from Powell’s City of Books on Burnside or Powell’s Books on Hawthorne.


“i want love so great it makes Nicholas Sparks cream in his pants” Now Available

Our latest title i want love so great it makes Nicholas Sparks cream in his pants by Calvero is now available. Read selections from the book and link to where you can buy it online by clicking here: i want love so great it makes Nicholas Sparks cream in his pants

If you’re in Portland, you can get your copies now directly from Powell’s City of Books on Burnside or Powell’s Books on Hawthorne.


“A Murder of Crows” Now Available

Our latest title A Murder of Crows by Michael N. Thompson is now available. Read selections from the book and link to where you can buy it online by clicking here: A Murder of Crows

If you’re in Portland, you can get your copies now directly from Powell’s City of Books on Burnside or Powell’s Books on Hawthorne or St. Johns Booksellers at a discounted price.


“An Electric Sheep Jumps to Greener Pasture” and “Here Comes the New Joy” Now Available

Our two newest titles are now available. Read selections from both books and link to where you can buy them online by clicking here:

an electric sheep jumps to greener pasture by Tyler Atwood

Here Comes the New Joy by John W Barrios

If you’re in Portland, you can get your copies now directly from Powell’s City of Books on Burnside or Powell’s Books on Hawthorne at a discounted price.

Stay tuned for news regarding a joint book release party at the IPRC and an in-store appearance at Powell’s Books on Hawthorne.


UHell Press Partners Up with Merch Lackey

Fresh back from AWP in Seattle, and knowing that people are anxious to get their hands on the new T-shirts we unveiled there, University of Hell Press is PROUD to announce our partnership with San Diego-based distribution company Merch Lackey. We literally want to GUSH how stoked we are about this, so we will give you two versions of this announcement:

THE SHORT VERSION
University of Hell Press now has a way of selling books and shirts directly to you from our University of Hell Press Store.

THE LONG VERSION
We are beyond thrilled about this partnership with Merch Lackey. With our operations divided between Portland, Oregon and San Diego, California, we always try to make decisions that benefit local businesses. To date, we never had a way for people to get merchandise directly from us online; partnering with Merch Lackey allows us to do that.

We have purchased merchandise from Merch Lackey over the years, they mostly represent rock bands, bars, and clubs. They’re a solid business with quality merchandise and great customer service. Plus, Merch Lackey is run by rock star Pete Reichert, a.k.a. Petey X, guitarist with Rocket from the Crypt, which, to us, just makes it even cooler.

University of Hell Press is the only publisher on their impressive roster, placing us among the many artists and businesses we admire and love and want to be aligned with. A short list includes: The Album Leaf, Bar Pink, The Black Heart Procession, The Casbah, Drag The River, Drive Like Jehu, Fistful of Mercy, G. Love and Special Sauce, Ghetto Blaster, The Hives, John Meeks, Josh Higgins, Live Wire Bar, Night Marchers, OFF!, Pinback, Rob Crow, Rocket from the Crypt, Swami Records, and Three Mile Pilot. Click here for a complete listing.

University of Hell Press has a roster full of rock stars (and punks), so it felt only fitting that we partner up with the same. You can now purchase books and T-shirts at a lower cost than anywhere else directly from us through our store, visit it now.

Merch Lackey


UHell Press Pushcart Prize Nominations

We are proud to announce our nominations for the Pushcart Prize. It was difficult choosing which pieces to nominate from among these four outstanding books. Congratulations to our nominees and their nominations (click the arrows to read each piece):

Eirean Bradley (from The Little Big Book of Go Kill Yourself)

the population of glendale, az dropped by one person for nine hours in the spring of 1989

the population of glendale, az dropped by one person for nine hours in the spring of 1989

when I was 13
I committed suicide.

this was not an attempt.

I popped all 87 sominex
that I had stolen from albertsons
one at a time.

I let my tongue memorize
the smoothness of each capsule.

my mouth so full,
that even if a cry for help was to
happen
no one would have heard it.

I tucked myself in
and laid the note across my chest
under my not-trembling chin
after the proofreading was done.

I did not want to be misunderstood.

I did not want sloppy syntax
to cause undue pain.

I slipped off silently.

I did not dream.

when my eyes opened the next day,
relief was not the correct word,
neither was regret.

I hid the note
and joined my parents at the
breakfast table.

I said very little, but was not
impolite.
I made as little eye contact as
possible.

I didn’t want my father
to see the new man I had become.

Calvero (from someday i’m going to marry Katy Perry)

energy drinks and diet sodas

energy drinks and diet sodas

I like energy drinks.
    I like diet sodas too.

They both taste good
and therefore I drink both of them
quite frequently,
    especially diet soda.

Because I drink so many
energy drinks
    and because I drink
        so many diet sodas
I have to pee quite a bit
throughout the day.

Pissing so much
throughout the day
might annoy most people
but I really don’t mind it.
    I don’t mind it at all
        actually.

I like taking pisses,
    especially long ones.

Sometimes when I have to pee
I hold it in
for as long as I can.
This way my pisses last longer
coming out.
I like taking long pisses.
They feel extra good
as they spray out of me
and into the toilet.

I spend most of my day
feeling nothing at all,
and when I do finally feel something
it’s usually something
pretty horrible like
sadness,
frustration,
hopelessness,
embarrassment,
aggravation,
anxiety,
shame,
dread.

But the long pisses make me feel good.
    They’re an amazing release.
They’re like a longer
but much more mild orgasm.
Plus I don’t have to chase
or beg
or buy some girl dinner
or drinks
to get one.
That and I don’t need to repay the favor
and have my face
stuck between her legs
for forty-five minutes,
tracing designs
all over her crotch
with the tip of my tongue
as she squirms
and writhes
and continually tells me how close she is.
    (I’m either really bad at it
    or really good at it.
    I’m not sure yet
    which one
    though.)

No,
all I need to do
to feel good
when I don’t have any other reason
to feel good
is drink an energy drink
    or a diet soda
and then eventually
I’ll take a piss
and feel good again
inside.

It’s never much
and it never lasts for long
but only when you’re able
to find small amounts
of happiness
loitering in the shadows
and cowering in the darkness
will you ever be able to find it
anywhere else.

That’s why I drink
energy drinks
and diet sodas.

    That and they taste
        really good
            too.

Brian S. Ellis (from American Dust Revisited)

The Things I Don’t Have

The Things I Don’t Have

Hunger does all the writing.
Hunger is the hardest worker.
Hunger is the only part of me clean-shaven.

At night, Hunger sits on my chest.
Stares into my open mouth,
paws my face like a cat.
Wakes me up from dreams about coffee
asks, Why are we so poor?

We are poor because we are defined
by what we don’t have.
The poor paint their mirror-selves
in the ichor of nothing.

At night we wander hallways of kitchens.
Every door is a dead refrigerator filled with teeth.
Hunger is always willing to walk with me.
He asks, Is the opposite of parents sex? Or children?

The opposite of parents is strangers
who take our names.
People who use up the color
of the words that mean us.
Who make our names hollow.
The way that some make the word love hollow.

I make everything hollow.
Hunger tells me,
It is my magic. I make everything taste beautiful.
He gives me a handful of teeth,
I swallow them all at once
each incisor and molar bursting into sand as I chew.

I will always be your friend.
When all else leaves you.

Hunger smiles,
removing my right hand
and climbing back into my mouth.

Leah Noble Davidson (from Poetic Scientifica)

have

have

The depression begins with you fingering hand towels you can’t afford in a store you’ll never remember the name of because you’re consumed with how they remind you of the ones you dried the dishes with when you quit working to stay home with the baby while he started his career at the job that you got for him so he wouldn’t have to work nights at the bookstore, pretended to be him, wrote the résumé and answered the emails. You researched how to ace an interview, picked out and ironed his clothes.

He could buy you these towels if you hadn’t left because he threw you across the kitchen floor, told you how much you owed him, but that money is for flowers now, for a woman much prettier than you, someone he’s learned to be thankful for.

Pushcart_Prize_Nominations